Of Know it Alls, Imbeciles and Other None Entities
by cheeseandoreosHP
Summary: Because Lucy isn't a know it all to anyone but Rita Skeeter, and Lorcan isn't an imbecile to anyone but Rose... possibly. And Lily is definitely nosy! A story about being judged on your parents instead of for who you are, and about idiots who have trouble opening their eyes. Lucy/Lorcan.
1. Of Know It Alls and Imbeciles

**Authors note: Hello there! Lovely of you to drop in. **

**I've returned to this story after quite a break, but I haven't changed much about it. I was debating whether or not to just take it down, but I'm actually really quite fond of this story, so I decided to tweak it a little bit and just see what happens. It's another experiment piece, I think. I'm like the mad scientist of Fanfiction authors... It's more stilted than anything I've written before, and I can't decide if I love or hate it, but I'll give it a shot. **

**I love this pairing, too. I know it's probably not the most popular of the next generation couples, but I just find the idea of these two together really cute. Forgive me for the cheesiness. Deary me, I'm getting quite sentimental about my writing. It's insane how rapidly my work has become more and more cringe worthy. **

**So, without further ado. I don't own Harry Potter, in case any of you lovely people out there are rather delusional, or have been living under a rock for the past however many years... **

A heart isn't judged on how much you love, but on how much you are loved~ Frank Morgan. 

Lucy sat, staring out the window, a prophet in her lap. It was 5 in the morning, and the common room was deserted. Quiddich practice wasn't for an hour, but she didn't really want to go back to bed.

What she didn't realize was that she wasn't the only early riser.

"What brings you down here so early?"

Lucy almost screamed. As it was, her heart was racing as if shocked by paddles.

"Holy Hippogriths, Lorcan, you terrified me!"

He roared with laughter.

"Oh, I'm sorry Luce. May I sit?"

She smiled, and drew her knees up to her chest so he had room to sit on the window seat. "Sure."

Settling himself beside her, he smiled that lopsided, heartfelt smile which she was only just beginning to realise how much she loved, and met her gaze. No matter how intense their staring competition got, he would not look away.

That was what Lucy loved best about her friend... The way he never gave up on anything, and was never shy. Never backing away when things got rough, or intense.

That and the fact that he was completely and utterly oblivious to the way people viewed him, and judged him. The way he always acted like _himself,_ no matter the circumstance or the onlookers.

"In all seriousness, are you alright?" He asked softly, jolting her from her thoughts.

"Yeah I'm fine." She whispered, worried that if she spoke any louder, her voice would betray her and she would break down in hysterical sobs on her shoulder.

Lorcan was perceptive when he wanted to be, however... He cocked his head to the right ever so slightly, in a way Lucy had to confess to finding completely and utterly adorable. Intense, with his large brown eyes, his gaze told her he didn't buy it. Not for one second.

"No, you're not. Your nargles are upset. You're not yourself."

She sighed. No use trying to get anything past him... He was just like his mother, her Aunty Luna. Tactless, but deceivingly perceptive, and always offering the right sort of comfort when it was needed most.

Resigning herself to the inevitable, she shoved the prophet into his lap.

_WEASLEYS IN ROMANIA_

_'The Weasley family, left, visiting the second eldest son, Charlie, his wife Verity and two children, Flame and Norbert (both of whom attend Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry). 25 years on, our war heroes are all happily settled._

_From left to right...' Lorcan skimmed until he found Lucy's name. 'Perhaps the least extraordinary of the Weasley clan, who allegedly betrayed his family for his work, is Percy Weasley. Famously boring, his daughters, Lucy and Molly, seem to have taken after him. With no more interesting conversation topics than their high marks and outrageous ambitions, these two twins are the modern day misfits of the Weasley family, and (according to sources close to the family) are quite often overlooked even by their kindhearted grandmother, Molly.'_

Lorcan looked up from the newspaper, to Lucy, who was smiling ruefully.

"They don't know you. You're the least boring person I've ever met. As for being a misfit- you? It's stupid, Lucy, not fit to provide manure for my mother's Dingle Berry Plum tree."

Lucy grinned, and leaned forwards. "You know what people think, when I tell them my name? They think- she's a pompous prat who puts her ridiculous ambitions before all else in the world and will generally bore you senseless. Why would they bother to get to know me? They know my parents. We all have the same problem, you know. James is a selfless, down to earth sort of guy who hates the spotlight. Lily's funny and witty and beautiful and sarcastic. Albus is a fighter, full of fire. Rose is a know it all. Hugo is stupid. Dom and Vicky are shallow scarlet women obsessed with their image. Louis is a moody Frenchman who gets by purely on charm. Flame and Norbert are quiet and the most easily overlooked. Lena is a practical joker. Georgina, April, Fred and Roxanne all live for jokes too, and aren't too fussed about school. Scorpius is a villain. Molly and I are boring."

"But you know the truth." Said Lorcan, wide eyed. "James loves the limelight, and the apocalypse will come before he can ever be safely classed as selfless. Lily is funny, but it's not in her nature to be sarcastic. Albus is a pacifist, quite the opposite of a fighter, don't you think? Except maybe on the Quiddich pitch, I've never seen him hurt a fly. Rose is extremely intelligent, but also very modest, not at all know it all. Hugo is one of the smartest people I know. Dom and Vicky may be pretty, but they're desperate to have people love them for them, and have no need to rely on looks. Louis is only quiet because he has depth and intelligence, he's always cheerful. Flame and Norbert are some of the loudest people I've ever met, quite hard to overlook. Lena? Practical joker? Hahaha. She may have an easy laugh, but she's never the one playing the jokes, is she now? She's too sensible for her own good, always keeps a straight face and focuses on her studies and work. Georgina, April, Fred and Roxanne may joke around, but they're very grounded when it comes to school work, not at all like your Uncle Fred and George. Scorpius is a great guy, one of the best people you can ever meet. And I don't know about Molly, I guess she can be a bit boring, but you are as far from boring as it can get."

"I know it shouldn't get to me."

"No. It shouldn't. Because you're funny. You're bubbly and loud and grounded and clever and the focus of every room. You play Quiddich, and have eating competitions with your insane cousins, and dance to no music, and are always surrounded by friends. You're popular, but you're never malicious. You're kind and considerate and gentle and funny and selfless and completely beautiful. You live in the moment, and the way you get the most out of every second of every minute of everyday affects everyone around you. When you laugh, the world always seems to laugh with you. You're my best friend, Lucy Weasley. So don't you dare let anything that stupid Skeeter monster says bother you."

The unembarrassed, matter of fact way in which he said it all should have made Lucy want to cringe for the rest of eternity. Her face should have been the same colour as the dying embers of the fire. But that was the beauty of it... Somehow, with Lorcan, she never ever felt the need for embarrassment. She could just be herself, and no one would ever judge her or laugh at her, and know that Lorcan would never, ever be anything but truthful...

So the fact that he could say all those nice things about her meant a lot to her. So much, in fact, that the _Prophet _article and Rita Skeeter faded almost entirely from her mind.

She smiled. "Thanks, Lorc. You're the awesomest best friend a girl could ask for."

They stayed silent for a moment, and neither dared move.

"Hey, kids! Quiddich in a minute!" Rose pulled short at the sight of Lucy and Lorcan, practically nose to nose. Lorcan exhaled impatiently, and pulled away.

"Oh. Um, I can go if-"

"Not at all, Rosie." Lucy was quick to salvage the situation, her cheeks the same colour as her hair, but otherwise cool. She untangled herself from the window seat, and Lorcan, and bounced up.

"Oh. Um, you wearing that to Quiddich practice, Luce?"

"Oh. I'd better go change."

Rose was clearly trying incredibly hard not to laugh. Lucy ran up the stairs, and Rose turned to Lorcan.

"So. You and Lucy?"

"Me and Lucy what?"

"You like Lucy."

"Of course I like Lucy. She's my best friend, isn't she?"

Rose sighed. "No, I mean- err, your wrackspurts are the same as hers."

Lorcan's brow crumpled. "I don't think it's possible to have the same wrackspurts as someone else. You might be confusing them with blibbering humdingers, they all look the same. Though they aren't necessarily one entity, if that's what you meant, and they don't belong to people-"

"Are you being stupid on purpose?" Rose demanded, the short temper her father had passed on waning pretty quickly in the face of the ever lovable but extremely irritating Lovegood blather.

Lorcan smirked. "Sorry Rose. I didn't mean to contradict your 'logic.'" His fingers sketched quotation marks around the word.

"Good! You should be." She cried distractedly, then ran a hand through her hair. "But that wasn't what I was talking about!" She exclaimed, exasperated. "Look, you like Lucy like I like Scorpius."

"I like to curse her?" He asked, even more confused. You could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. Irritated, Rose Weasley made quite an impressive sight, and Lorcan was tempted to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction...

"What else do I like to do with Scorpius?"

"Beat him at Quiddich? Beat him at chess? Beat him at eating competitions? Throw my beaters bat at his head? Tell him he's a waste of space? Insult his father? Lock him in the dungeons? Push him off the Hogwarts express-?"

"No! That was one time, Lorcan! No. More obvious than that, you prize idiot!"

"Um, kiss- aah."

"Yes, aah, you half wit! You took your time!"

He grinned mischievously. "You could have just said I wanted to kiss her in the first place."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aah! Oh my Merlin Lorc, you are unbelievable! Completely insufferable! How you bloody well managed to get ten Os is beyond me! I swear, you're the biggest imbecile ever to walk this planet!"

"Alright, ready for the off?" Lucy asked, bouncing down the stairs, her cheeks miraculously returned to their normal colour. Lily smiled from her side.

Almost all the Gryffindor Quiddich team was made up of the Potter-Weasley clan. Lysander and Lorcan played beaters, Lily played seeker, Rose played keeper, Lucy, Fred and April played chasers. Last year, there had been accusations of biased leadership when the team was run by Victorie, and she had picked James, Roxanne, Lily, Rose, Dominique and Fred. The accusations had been quickly squashed when Gryffindor completely slaughtered Slytherin in their first match, leaving with a score of 350-40 points- a 310 point lead that hadn't been seen in a long time.

"Yep." Rose said brightly.

"The biggest imbecile on the planet is all ready to go." Lorcan grinned. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Err, do I want to know-" Lily began.

"Nope, you don't." Rose laughed. "Now, let's get down to the Quiddich practice. Over my dead body will Scorpius beat us next week!"

As they left, Lily exchanged a bewildered glance with Lucy, which (to her intense confusion) Lucy didn't return.

Was it her imagination, or were her cousins hiding something? Lily shook of the thought immediately. Ridiculous notion! They were Weasley girls, closer than sisters. They didn't keep secrets.

Lily forgot about everyone's strange behaviour as soon as she was up in the air. It was a practice like none the team had ever seen. Thanks to Rose, and her mother (who had been sending tips for moves in every letter Lily had received for the past month) everyone worked flawlessly as a team. And whilst Ginny Potter, ex chaser of the Holyhead Harpies and special correspondent for the daily prophet sport section, probably helped, it was Rose who brought the team together. That and their determination to beat Slytherin.

There was something strange in the air, though. Lucy and Lorcan seemed reluctant to look at each other. There was an extraordinarily awkward moment where they had nearly crashed into each other middair, and Lucy had fumbled the quaffle.

If there was one thing Lucy Weasley never, _ever_ did, it was drop the quaffle. That and blush. Both of which, Lily almost giggled thinking about it, she had now done.

Alright, so it was weird. But Lily had a shrewd suspicion what was going on, and she was determined to prove herself right...

Lily didn't think about the odd morning as she showered and changed. Nor did she remember as she turned towards the great hall to get breakfast. She didn't even remember as she and Lysander sat discussing the merits of raspberry jam.

Halfway through breakfast, however, she noticed Lucy's absence. Lorcan too, she realised, was no where in sight... How had she missed that?

Excusing herself, she headed to the nearest bathroom, and took out the marauders map. Allowing only a moment (as she always did) to remember the thrill she had felt when James had handed the map down to her last year, arrogantly claiming not to need it anymore, she pulled out her wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" She whispered.

Lucy probably was, anyway. It was most definitely not nosiness or curiosity which prompted her to consult the map. Of course not! It was in Lucy and Lorcan's best interest! What kind of cousin would she be if she let Lucy get into an awful scrape with Filch just because she had neglected to check the map? Whatever would Lena say? Whatever would Victorie and Dom and all the others? It was unthinkable!

No, it most definitely was because she didn't want Lucy to get into any kind of bother.

And it most definitely was NOT because she wanted to be the first in on the gossip.

Chortling to herself, Lily scanned the map for Lucy's dot. And sure enough, she found her in the Gryffindor changing rooms, standing closer to Lorcan than any 'just friend' could ever feel comfortable doing...

Grinning to herself, she exited the bathroom, and no matter how many times Rose asked her, she wouldn't explain what had her in such a good mood...


	2. A Dip In the Lake

**Author's note: This was meant to be a one chapter short story thing, but I was editing it today and decided that I wanted to write another chapter. Then I opened a new word document and the chapter kind of just came to me. I may or may not add another chapter, it all depends on whether or not I come down with writer's block again.**

**Also, I know Lysander and Lorcan are meant to be Luna and Rolf Scamander, but I don't like that paring. Luna and Neville were so perfect in the books, and I feel like they should have gotten together, like they did in the films. Never ever thought I'd say that, but I refuse to follow canon on this one. So far as I am concerned, Lysander and Lorcan Scamander and Alice Longbottom are Neville and Luna's kids. They're such a sweet couple, I will not be moved on this. **

You have to be careful what you wish for. What you want may be more than you can handle~ unknown

"It's the Yule Ball next week." Lily said brightly, coming up behind her cousin, grinning mischievously.

Lucy looked at her, brow knitting a moment. Lorcan looked up from his book, gaze flickering to Lucy's face, before returning to the paragraph on Nargles. Much more interesting, and much more easy to make sense of, than the two girls before him.

Although apparently Lucy was having just as much trouble making sense of Lily's motives as he was...

"Your point?"

Lily look crestfallen a moment, before recovering. "What are you wearing?"

"You already know, Lils." Lucy replied absent mindedly, frowning at her transfiguration homework. "You were with me last Hogwarts weekend, when we _all _met up with Victorie and Lena and went dress shopping."

"Oh!" Lily laughed. "Silly me. Well, have you asked anyone yet? I hear Finnigan's still free, you know. He's always had a thing for you, according to Vicky."

Lorcan's head snapped up so fast you would've thought he'd been electrocuted. Lucy, on the other hand, didn't even blink.

Both of their reactions were not lost on Lily.

"Not my type. He can take his 'thing' for me and stick it where the sun don't shine- didn't you hear about the way he treated Marie Smith?" She replied, without so much as missing a beat. Her eyes continued to comb her paper, though what she looked for remained elusive.

Lily laughed, enjoying herself immensely. Across the table, Lorcan squirmed. He was way out of his depth right now, and he knew it. "That was years ago, and Marie's an absolute idiot. Did you hear about what she did to Ian Watson? If anything should be stuck where the sun don't shine, I reckon-"

"Lily. I like Marie, she's good fun, she's smart, and there's been some awful gossip about her which I don't believe a word of."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist!" Lily laughed. "I was just saying, Finnigan's cute. Our parents know his parents, he's funny, the whole Marie thing was a long time ago. I think he's sweet."

"I suppose so. Well, that's settled then." Lucy replied, shutting her book and grinning mischievously at her cousin.

"What?" Cried Lorcan and Lily, their mouths falling open in unison. Their friend, on the other hand, merely smirked, her eyes sparking with laughter.

"You think he's sweet, Lily. You can go to the ball with him. I, on the other hand, am not decided. I'll keep you posted, alright? Now, we have a match tomorrow, so I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams, both of you."

Sitting in the library, both Lily and Lorcan could hear her laughing right along the corridor. Lily rolled her eyes at Lorcan.

"Well, she may be insane, but she's right about one thing. We're going to need our beauty sleep if we don't want Rose to murder us in the morning. Come on."

Lorcan stretched and yawned, before shutting his book and shoving it in his bag and following Lily down the corridor.

Girls were just weird sometimes, Lorcan reflected dismally... It was no use trying to make sense of them.

The following morning dawned upon them fast. Predictably, Gryffindor won the match, and the after party was one to rival all after parties.

Rose was the first to uncork the firewhiskey she had (somehow) managed to smuggle into the common room. So much for Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, Lorcan thought wryly. Rose Weasley broke all the rules.

He wondered what that stupid Skeeter woman would have to say about that...

"You know, I was thinking I was going to have to wait all night for you to come and talk to me." Said a voice, suddenly appearing at his side. "Then I thought, screw that, it's not the 18th century anymore. I can go and talk to him myself."

Lorcan laughed. Lucy may make no sense most of the time, but the things she said almost always had the power to make him laugh. It didn't matter if he couldn't understand her... She was perfect just the way he was.

Lucy nudged him, jolting him away from his thoughts. "It's getting a bit crowded in here, don't you think?"

"Definitely." Lorcan agreed, downing his firewhiskey in one and grinning at her in a way that had her heart beating out a somewhat random, skittish rhythm. "I reckon we should relieve Gryffindor common room of the overcrowding caused by our presence. Beside, the wrackspurt numbers in here are getting overwhelming."

Lucy leaned forward, grinning mischievously. "We can't have that, can we now?"

"Come on Lorc! Catch up!" She shouted, laughing as she ran ahead.

The grounds looked different in the dark, Lorcan reflected... Not bad different, just different. The lake cast a dark aura across the lawn, a more domineering presence than it was in the daytime. The soft evening lights cast a glow across the lawn, making everything much more beautiful. And Lucy...

Lucy danced up ahead, her hair flying in the breeze, eyes wide with delight as she sucked in great lungfuls of cool night air. Lorcan shivered, though he was not cold.

Lorcan, Lucy reflected, looked different, too. Usually, he had this faraway look in his eye, that told you whilst he was _here, _he wasn't exactly _here _here. He was different to anyone else she had ever met. Special. The most valued of all her friends and relatives, though she knew that was wrong... Something about him drew her closer, made her want to know more, even though she knew pretty much everything about him already...

In the light from the castle, however, he looked darker and more ordinary. His blue eyes glinted in the twisted shapes of light cast from the windows above him, but they didn't look quite as day dreamy or faraway.

Lucy was certain he was living this moment, that not a thought would be wasted on Crumple Horned Snoracks or Wrackspurts or whatever other oddity may enter his head at any given time...

Kicking off her shoes on the lawn, she grinned at him. "Race you to the lake!"

"You're on!" Lorcan grinned.

Merlin, thought Lorcan as she ran, if my dad catches me doing this... That would be completely and utterly humiliating. But somehow, it would be worth it. Just to see the look on Lucy's face.

They reached the waters edge, and without hesitating, Lucy hoisted her robes above her knees and jumped in. The water rippled outwards, splashing droplets all over Lorcan, all of them glinting oddly in the moonlight.

As the water came into contact with her skin, Lucy gave an almighty set of squeals that should have woken the entire castle, and leapt back out again, landing on top of Lorcan.

He looked up, the moon shining above her. He was suddenly _very _aware of how close she was to him. Since that first kiss in the changing rooms, they hadn't so much as held hands. Despite himself, he gulped.

Lucy brushed a curl behind her ears with trembling fingers and looked at her friend. His astonishing blue eyes looked back her, daring her to try... To experiment, to see what would happen if she dared step any further.

Their noses were inches apart when their lips crashed together, hers crushing on his and his crushing on hers... It didn't seem to matter, either way...

Suddenly, a blinding flash of light went off, and they sprang apart. A grinning photographer stood there, the photo already developing in his hand. It was all Lucy could do to blink bemusedly, throwing a confused glance at Lorcan, who seemed just as bewildered as she was.

"Oh, this is one for the front paper, this!" The Photographer grinned, flapping the piece of paper. "I can see the headline now. Lucy Weasley: As She's Painted. Snappy, don't you think? Oh, the public are going to be reeling. Midnight trysts, jumping in the lake, kissing strange boys. If nothing else, the press loves a good scandal."

"Give that back!" Lorcan was the first to recover his wits, jumping to his feet, his hands curling into fists. Lucy was close behind. The photographer raised his eyebrows.

"Give it back? Now, why would I do that, I wonder? Rita's going to love this!"

Lorcan's fist came down, but the man was already gone.

* * *

"Well, they don't think you're boring anymore." Rose laughed, passing the paper around.

_LUCY WEASLEY: THE REBEL BEHIND THE PAINTED MASK_

_Lucy Weasley has been painted as a ambiguous, snobby teen with unattainable ambitions and a ruthless nature. It has been stated that she would 'do anything to get what she wants'. Friends, family, neighbours... All have been heard to say that she could bore a bowtruckle into eternal sleep, should she fancy it. _

_However, shocking new evidence has come to light, revealing that, in person, this Little Madam is far from as she's painted. She is, in fact, one of the most rebellious teens of all the Weasley children. _

_"She's always up for a laugh." Lysander Longbottom, a close friend and confidante, tell the Daily Prophet. "She's funny, too. Cracking jokes all the time, playing Quiddich and going to parties. She's just a fun person to be around, not at all the boring misfit people say she is." _

_Scorpius Malfoy, daughter of the infamous Draco Malfoy, who had a notorious rivalry with all of Lucy's Uncles, but whom is surprisingly fond of all the Weasley's, added. "She's always the first one on the dance floor, too. I don't think she's anything like either of her parents, to be honest." _

_We here at the Daily Prophet, however, worry that Lucy Weasley is set on a dangerous path. Pictured Left, she is seen at a midnight tryst with Lorcan Longbottom, after encouraging him to take a quick dip in the Hogwarts Lake. The two were caught out of bed after hours, following a party in the Gryffindor Common room which got out of hand, at which there were several bottles of alcohol, insiders report. _

_It is clear that Lucy's behaviour is a desperate plea for the attention, not only of her parents, but also of the press. All of her cousins are looked up to and admired as valuable members of our society. Lucy's rebellious attitude is widely believed to be a misguided attempt to mark herself out in a family which is famous around the world, and in which she and her sister have always blended into the background. _

_How far this revolting Weasley is prepared to go has yet to be seen. However, on one point everyone is absolutely clear. If we were Lorcan Longbottom, we would watch out... _

Everyone exchanged worried glances, looking at Lucy, who was perched on Lorcan's lap. She bit her lip, and the table visibly braced themselves for the explosion. The explosion which, as it happened, never came...

Lucy burst out laughing, and slowly, Lorcan joined in. It spread around their little bubble in the far corner of the common room, until nobody could stop.

"Oh, Lucy, you absolute rebel!" Lily laughed.

"Despicable." Sighed Lysander, laughing.

"Honestly, Lucy, what were you thinking?" Rose added. "You're completely off the rails!"

"Whatever will your dad say?" Hugo grinned.

Lucy took deep breaths, trying to control her laugher as she clutched her ribs. Suddenly, she grinned slyly, and put her arm back around Lorcan's neck.

"You hear that, Lorc? You'd better watch out." She grinned, and put her lips to his ear. "I'm a dangerous girl."

Lorcan laughed, and grinned at her. "As to that, I have no doubt."

Looking at the paper, Lucy realised it didn't matter what other people thought, or even what they put about her in the newspaper. Lorcan was right.

The people who loved her best knew the real her, and wouldn't change her for the world. That was all that mattered.

"Now, about this Yule Ball. When you said you'd keep me posted-" Lorcan began slyly. Lucy grinned, and pressed her lips against his, shoving the newspaper away.

"Consider that my answer." Lucy grinned.


End file.
